[serious question] if an animal was amazing at sports

[Yacob (freelance idiot)]

could it play professionally? like if a Gorilla learned how to play linebacker or an orangutan could play sg or goalie 

[Grizzlies GM (Royce)]

no PETA would step in and claim animal abuse

[Denver Nuggets (Kevin)]

You have way too much time on your hands yacob 😂

[Toronto Raptors (Perk)]

Hightower and Jones line up on the left side, it's a blitz! And HARAMBE BURSTS UP THE MIDDLE AND SACKS WILSON!!!!

[San Antonio Spurs (Chris)]

no, yacob, wouldn't be safe, gorillas can always go apeshit and tear someone's arm off; that is where the phrase going apeshit comes from. landon is also right, and frankly PETA would have a point in this case.

more realistic question: why don't NHL teams hire enormously, ridiculously fat people as goalies? like, so fat that they literally fill the entire face of the goal when they squat down (or more likely just sit down), and you'd have to sneak a puck between the layers in their armpit or something to score. i've wondered this ever since goldberg and the mighty ducks, even asked a minor league player once, and he said it wouldn't work, but then when i asked him why not he seemed like he couldn't really come up with an answer and just got upset and stormed off... anyone with a more complete knowledge of hockey than i have able to shed some light on this one? i really would like to know.

[Oklahoma City Thunder (Loren)]

Lmao Chris. Yes it seems like a logical thing but the talent at the nhl level is just ridiculous. It makes sense in the mighty ducks because they're like 13 year old kids who don't have the skill to snipe goalies in their openings whereas nhl players do. Just look at any highlight video of some NHLer's shots. I'm a big fan of James Neal but Steven Stamkos and Ovechkin will do fine for research.

Also, there are regulations on the size of pads but there is some truth to what you're saying. Ben Bishop, a 6'6" goalie for the Lightning is considered a top 5 goalie in the league by most and it's largely due to his size but he's also very agile.

[Toronto Raptors (Perk)]

Goalies need to be able to skate, as weird as that sounds. Lots of quick slides almost like good footwork from an infielder turning a double play in baseball. If the big guy isn't flexible, teams will just try to cross him up. However, I think the reasons people may hesitate is because if taking a bigger goalie works, the position is less skilled and perhaps less entertaining to watch/cheer for. Hockey players will say that same thing because it may feel almost kind of cheap. Am I making sense?

[Oklahoma City Thunder (Loren)]

The net is also 4x6 feet wide so find me a human that covers 24 square feet of space

[Toronto Raptors (Perk)]

Jared Sullinger on ice skates = problem solved

[Yacob (freelance idiot)]

Jul 22, 2016 12:08:49 GMT -5 San Antonio Spurs (Chris) said:

no, yacob, wouldn't be safe, gorillas can always go apeshit and tear someone's arm off; that is where the phrase going apeshit comes from. landon is also right, and frankly PETA would have a point in this case.

more realistic question: why don't NHL teams hire enormously, ridiculously fat people as goalies? like, so fat that they literally fill the entire face of the goal when they squat down (or more likely just sit down), and you'd have to sneak a puck between the layers in their armpit or something to score. i've wondered this ever since goldberg and the mighty ducks, even asked a minor league player once, and he said it wouldn't work, but then when i asked him why not he seemed like he couldn't really come up with an answer and just got upset and stormed off... anyone with a more complete knowledge of hockey than i have able to shed some light on this one? i really would like to know.

that's a legit point about the Gorillas 


and i am 100% with you on the hockey goalie thing.....FWIW the size of professional goalies have increased in the modern era. not really an expert on hockey though but i'm *pretty sure* the size of the actual goal has changed slightly in the past few decades

on a side note, I met Jimmy Howard when he was like 18 years old many many years ago, he's still in the NHL

[Atlanta Hawks (Trey)]

Air bud played nearly every sport just fine.